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Kindred Connections, Issue #005 -- The Mother-Daughter Relationship
May 05, 2009

In this newsletter

Editor’s note (That’s ME!)

Heritage Makers news

Family Reunion T-Shirts for sale

Recent website additions

A Short Read – “The Mother-Daughter Relationship”

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Editor’s note

{Some of what I've been up to...}

In honor of spring cleaning, I've been cleaning up my website to make it easier to read and quicker to find what you're looking for. This is an on-going process, so please let me know if there are particular obnoxious pages or if there are major reunion pieces that seem to be missing.

In case you haven't seen it yet, I added a new clip art image to the list of available free downloads to e-zine subscribers. I love this family people tree! If you've forgotten the password to access the freebies page, just drop me an email.

The interactive components of continue to grow. If you haven't already contributed your thoughts, stories and/or ideas, I highly encourage you to do so! If you or your reunion have benefited from someone else's ideas, pay it forward by sharing your own ideas with others. Join in here -

Share your favorite family reunion poems, quotes & sayings

What are the best and worst family reunion locations?

Build a web page for YOUR family reunion

Submit your best family reunion idea

We have a new t-shirt winner! Congratulations to...

Dedra of Lacey, Washington

for winning the lastest drawing for a FREE t-shirt! Every 6 weeks, the person who submitted the highest rated family reunion idea wins a free t-shirt. Want to join? Check out Dedra's winning Dr. Seuss idea and then submit your own. The next winner will be announced on June 15th.

As always, I welcome your comments and feedback - simply reply to this email. Enjoy the e-zine!

Heritage Makers

My most recent Heritage Makers project is a 2008 Family Yearbook. It includes over 200 pictures on 46 pages and highlights our favorite activities and memories of the year. If you're interested in taking a closer look, you can view it here:

2008 Family Yearbook

Heritage Makers offers 100's of free templates. Sign up at to be my client and add exclusive family reunion project templates to your list of free ideas.

May's online workshops - which are free and open to anyone - will focus on quick Mother's Day and Father's Day ideas. Register by following the links:

May 5th, 10:00 AM, Mountain Time

May 7th, 7:00 PM, Mountain Time

Family Reunion T-Shirts is now offering simple, original family reunion t-shirts for sale. The minimum order is 12 shirts, but you can order any size(s) and color(s) within that. There are 18 different colors available in 10 different sizes. And shipping is free! The pricing structure is easy to understand and ordering is simple. There are 2 different forms that will help decide and compile orders:

for the person ordering individual shirts

for the person placing the group order

New additions to the website

Preserve Your Family Heritage

To preserve your family heritage, collect artifacts, scan photos and do research. Documenting your family legacy will help express identity, define values and add meaning to everyday life.

Discover Great Family Vacation Ideas and Family Reunion Destinations

Great family reunion location ideas will give you great family vacation ideas. Stop by to submit your best and worst location experiences.

Family Reunion Websites

Family reunion websites can serve as a centralized communication hub before, during and after your family gathering. Create your very own FREE website through FamilyReunionSuccess.

If you need additional functionality, consider It's fast, easy and only $9.95 per month.

Reunion Website

Need Family Reunion T-Shirts?

Simple, classic family reunion t-shirts for sale. Choose from several simple designs in 19 different colors. Youth, adult and plus sizes. Free shipping.

A Short Read

The Mother-Daughter Relationship
by Lydia Stucki

Every woman ever born is stuck in a mother-daughter relationship that dictates inevitable feelings of guilt, love and loyalty. These powerful emotions guide our decisions and shape our lives. Even when we think we are immune to these subtle feelings, they are directing our very existence. Author Elizabeth Stone puts it this way: "A daughter’s a daughter all of her life."

mother daughter relationship

I love my mother. She gave me life and raised me the very best she could. She figured out how to pay for music lessons and made sure I practiced. She encouraged ballet, taught me to sew and made school work a priority.

My mother and I have always enjoyed a good relationship. However, that relationship has come with a certain amount of pressure to do things a particular way. Nagging constantly in the back of my head are messages from my mother: I should read more to my kids, clean my windows more often and visit home more frequently. Mom didn’t program the messages on purpose and she doesn’t mean to make me feel guilty. It’s just simply part of the package. I’ve tried to dispose of these broken records, but I can’t. Whether I like it or not, they are my mother’s influence and will always be a part of me.

"Unlike the mother-son relationship, a daughter’s relationship with her mother is something akin to bungee diving. She can stake her claim in the outside world in what looks like total autonomy - in come case, even "divorce" her mother in a fiery exit from the family - but there is an invisible emotional card that snaps her back. For always there is the memory of mother, whose judgments are so completely absorbed into the daughter’s identity that she may wonder where Mom leaves off and she begins." (Victoria Secunda, "Women and Their Fathers," 1992.)

I’m convinced that my mom tried to free my sisters and I from mother-daughter guilt. Since we’ve been adults, she has expressed to us her own feelings of inadequacy and struggle as a daughter to her own mother. More than once, I’ve heard her say things like, "Oh, I’m glad I don’t make you girls feel guilty, like my mom does to me." She doesn’t even realize that she’s smack dab in the middle of a mythical bond created by a strange combination of genetics and environment.

But guilt isn’t the only influential sentiment that comes with being a daughter. The mother-daughter love that co-exists with the guilt is equally powerful. What is it about frilly bows and pink shoes that instantly bonds a mother to her infant daughter for life? There is just something about it. All that "girl stuff" - finger nail polish, fancy dresses and the ability to nurture - is more fully enjoyed within the mother-daughter relationship.

My own mother helped me feel poised, beautiful and prepared for talent shows and other important events. She helped me figure out the best way to care for my hair, find the most flattering swim suit and cried when I cried. Even still, she is my friend, confidant and cheerleader.

As a young girl, I looked forward to growing up to become like my mother. More recently, however, I’ve realized that she has challenges, insecurities and weaknesses that I don’t want. But I’ll inherit them anyway, because it’s all part of the package.

I am my mother’s daughter.

I wish you all the best,

{Add meaning. Make memories.}

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