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Kindred Connections, Issue #002 -- Loving Your Relatives... even when you don't want to!
February 05, 2009
In this newsletter
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Fun Cooking Games & Fun Food Games for your Family
Free Printable Awards – Family Reunion Certificates
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Successful Family Photo Session at the Family Reunion
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I can't help it - I'm in love!
I fell so in love with Heritage Makers that I signed up as a consultant! They offer the most options, best quality and largest product selection of any online personal publishing company that I’ve found.
Writing that book about your baby’s first year, your grandparent’s life history or your family’s favorite vacation has never been easier. There’s no software to install – just sign up for a free account, upload your digital pictures and get started.
I’ve published 3 projects in the last month and absolutely love each one. They’re worth every minute of time I invested and every penny I spent – and more. How can I help YOU preserve your family photos and stories?
LOVING YOUR RELATIVES… EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO
Shhh. Don’t tell any one… But I have some relatives that drive me absolutely bonkers. (Did I just say that out loud??) Forget about loving them, I barely like them! And that’s not really a good thing when it comes to loving family relationships, now, is it?
But here’s the deal.
If you (ie ME) want to have a strong family with successful family relationships, you (ie ME) have to put those “they bug me” feelings aside and look past the obnoxious character flaws. I’ve seen hurt feelings, jealousy and pride result in years and years of stone cold silence between adult siblings.
Immature? Maybe. But just because we’re adults doesn’t mean that we always act like it.
Whether you’re on the receiving or giving end of anger, jealousy or pride, it’s just not worth it. I encourage all of us to trade these
all-too-easy negative emotions in for something greater. If not love, trade them for patience, understanding or perhaps just a willingness to compromise.
Taking the high road isn’t easy. Especially if you agree with the saying, “Happiness is a large, supportive, close family… in another state.”
Just because two people are in the same family, doesn’t mean that they are automatically friends. Friends are people that you want to hang out with and want to get to know… and take the time and effort to do so. It’s easy to click with friends.
Family, on the other hand, just might mean that your brother brings his obnoxious wife (who talks loudly about inappropriate topics, chews with her mouth open, always has to be the center of attention, bites her fingernails and whatever else drives you nuts) to your family gatherings. In this case, it would be
much easier – and probably more fun – to hang out with friends instead of family.
How does that saying go? You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family.
But we can’t give up on family – we start and end with them. As author Anthony Brandt said, “The most powerful ties are the ones to the people who gave us birth. It hardly seems to matter how many years have passed, how many betrayals there may be been, how much misery in the family: We remain connected, even against our wills.”
Loving your relatives, especially when you don’t want to, takes tremendous discipline and self control. Look for the good (even if you have to use a microscope), be positive and optimistic, keep strong opinions on controversial issues to yourself and be tactfully honest.
If all else fails, keep in mind that, “If you can’t say anything good, then don’t say anything at all.”
All the best,
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